A Mother and her Daughter
by WritingWithABrokenHeart
Summary: When Tony confronts Ziva about whatever it is that is bothering her. She reveals her biggest secret that makes him question weather or not he made the right choice in killing Rivkin that night. I will continue this story.
1. Chapter 1

Somehow he always found himself at her front door whenever there was trouble. Or something was just bothering him. Each time, she would let him and make him some tea. They would talk for hours, watch a movie or cook each other dinner. Years ago, they would  
But this time it wasn't him who was bothered. It was her. Ziva had left early after they had finished a case they had been working on for 2 weeks. A female lieutenant had been beaten badly by her boyfriend. It turned out that she had slept with one of his friends and she had been pregnant. The beating lead to her losing the child in the hospital. Of course everyone had felt sorry for her, but Ziva had lost all emotion in her eyes when she heard that the woman had lost the child. And when they found the boyfriend, Ziva made sure he paid for it. They had found him at an old warehouse down at the harbor. She was the one who caught him, punching him a little more than necessary. Tony had had to pull her off of the guy and the look they had shared told him that something was getting to her. That she had gotten personally involved in the case. As the guy tried to get away, McGee and Gibbs caught him at the door. Gibbs looked at his two agents, Tony holding Zivas arms and Ziva fighting her emotions. Gibbs let it be, thinking that the discussion that it would lead to was something that had to be kept between them. So he handcuffed the guy and told Tony and Ziva to ride in the other car and that they were expected back at the office in 1 hour.  
McGee sat at his desk when Tony and Ziva came back. He had just arrived with Gibbs who was upstairs with Vance. Tony sat down at his desk and started typing on his keyboard without a word. But Ziva stood in the space between his desk and her own. She didn't say anything either. She didn't move. She just looked around the bullpen. Her hair was down and a mess, she looked like she could fall any second. She looked like the time she had been undercover and almost died. McGee got eye contact with her, giving her a concerned expression. She looked away, towards Tony who pretended that she wasn't looking. Ziva bit her lip, grabbed her stuff and left the office without a word.  
And now he was standing here. He had just knocked on the door. He knew that she knew it was him. It wasn't like he had a signature knock or something. It was just her gut telling her that it was Tony who asked for entrance. They hadn't talked all the way back to NCIS which was what had bothered them the most. Because they did speak, just using their eyes and body language.  
Ziva walked to the door and opened it without a word. She didn't even bother to look at Tony, she just walked back to the couch. Tony closed the door and followed her. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Then Tony finally got the guts to ask.

"Don't hide it."

"Hide what?"

"Whatever it is that you're not telling me about. I'm here so shoot."

Ziva looked up. A weak smile formed on her lips.

"How am I supposed to hide anything from you Tony?"

"Well you can't. I'm a trained investigator." He smiled at her. Trying to make her laugh. But she just looked away. He sighed. She finally spoke after a few minutes of silence.

"I uh .. I lost something in Somalia."

Tony looked at her.

"What Ziva? You can tell me."

"No. I cannot do that Tony."

"Sure you can. How bad can it be?"

"I do not know. I do not even know how to feel about it."

Ziva hid her face in her hands.

"Just tell me."

Tony cubed her back.

"I .. When I was captured in Somalia and .."

Ziva looks up at Tony.

"I lost it Tony." She whispers.

"You lost what?"

"I .. I had a miscarriage."

Tony froze.

"You mean you were-"

"Pregnant. Yes."

Ziva bit her lip. She didn't cry. But Tony could tell how bad she felt. He looked away and sighed. There was a moment of silence.

"I'm guessing he was the father."

"Yes. He was."

Tony nodded and leaned back. Ziva finally broke down and started talking without even considering the painful memories it would bring back for both of them.

"I felt that you had taken something away from me. A chance to have a normal family life. I was only 1 month pregnant but I .. I felt the baby inside of me. I knew that having two Mossad officers as parents would not be easy, and it would probably become a part of Mossad someday but I had this picture in my head of Michael and I, living with our family in Tel Aviv."

"Ziva. I seriously don't know what to say."

"Even before you killed him, I thought about going back for good. Staying with Michael and give our child a life. A safe place to call home. Something Michael and I never had."

There was a long pause. Tony sighed. Ziva bit her lip.

"Did he know?" Tony said this not moving his sight from the table. Ziva looked up.

"Yes. He knew."

Tony didn't move.

"I told him before he went to L.A."

"What did he say?"

"That we would discuss it when he got back. I do not know if he wanted the same things. If he wanted the child of he thought that it was too soon. I was not even sure that I wanted it. I mean it was not at all like I had planed it to happen. But then again, I thought that it was my only chance of having a family. My father would approve of Michael and I was sure that we would figure it all out."

Tony could kick himself at that moment. He wanted to reach for his gun and kill himself. It was his fault Ziva had been going through that.

"I was not sure what to do. I never told my father. He would never have let me go after Saleem but I had to. I felt that I had no one else left in the world and the best way to make it less painful and embarrassing was to die while on a mission."

"You do have your pride huh?"

Ziva ignored his comment. Tony didn't blame her.

"I had hoped Saleem's men would kill me fast. But they kept me alive. They tortured me in ways that I was not familiar with."

Tony wouldn't allow the image to take form in his mind. But he could see it very clearly. Ziva, being tortured and beaten by Saleem and his men.

"I saw no reason to live anymore. But after only a week in the camp, I felt the baby inside of me. I do not know if I loved it. I did not want the child to grow up in a world where there was no hope, to have the same childhood as I did. But I protected it. I kept myself alive for its sake. Saleem got suspicious when I started throwing up every morning."

Tony was nervous to hear the rest of the story.

"An old woman came to me and .. She confirmed to Saleem that I was pregnant. She gave me something to eat and drink. She said something in African and left." Ziva paused."They must have slipped something into my water. Because that night I woke up with the worst feeling I had ever had in my body. I had lost the child and the next morning, a man came and took whatever that was left of it. I saw him through the window where he threw it in a trashcan."

Tony felt his stomach twist. As much as he wanted to throw up he held it down for Ziva sake. Tony leaned forward and put his arm around Ziva. She leaned into his chest and sobbed. They sat like that for hours. Ziva fell asleep against his chest and he carried her to her bed. He laid her down and pulled the sheets up and covered her. He was about to leave when he felt something grabbing his hand. He looked back and met her eyes.

"Stay."

**And now it is up to your imagination to figure out what happened next ;) Reviews makes me smiley. **

**If you've read some of my other stories I have a question for you: I have this really cute family storyline for tiva, but I'm not sure which story to use it in. I would love your opinion (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so I finally came up with an idea. I'm combining the two stories **_**a mother and her daughter **_**with **_**baby don't cry. **_**The storylines have been combined but I liked the first title the most so I changed this story's name, but the same things will happen. **

"_Stay."_

Tony looked down at the Israeli beauty. Never in the past 5 years he had known her had he ever seen her so vulnerable. She looked like a small girl asking her dad to stay with her until she fall asleep, because she is afraid of the monsters under her bed. Ziva looked like she hadn't realized the consequences or the word. Tony didn't know if she meant stay or .. stay.  
Ziva didn't know what she had meant either. She was just as confused as Tony. Sure she had just told him something very emotional and personal so it would seem very inappropriate. But they had both wanted this for a long time.  
Tony realized he hadn't moved for a few minutes. Ziva must wonder what he was going to do. He sat down on the floor, leaning against her nightstand. He held onto her hand and gently bushed it with his finger. Their eyes met. Their heads were just at the same height and the words they had never been able to get out through their mouths, seemed to stream out from their eyes in just a second.  
But Tony didn't want it to happen like this. He would feel as he was taking advantage of a very emotional Ziva, who was not ready for this conversation. He wasn't ready for it either. It had to be perfect. Although he had never had any need not to rush sexual encounters, he knew that when it came to Ziva, it had to be something that would be worth the wait. Ziva gave him a weak smile. He smiled back.

"Get some sleep."

Ziva nodded and closed her eyes. She felt completely safe knowing Tony was with her. It was a nice feeling.  
Tony watched her sleep. He could stare at her chest rise and fall for hours. Something about her had always fascinated him. Was it the fact that she had always teased and flirted with him, showing no signs of privacy when it came to talk about .. well sex. He smiled a little as he remembered. How is it possible to remember something she had said 5 years ago? Maybe because it was really funny.

"_I'll call you back!"_

_Tony quickly pretended to hang up the phone when she started walking towards him._

"_Hi."_

_He expected her to respond, but she just looked at him teasingly._

"_I was just –"_

"_Having phone sex?"_

She had said it like it was the most normal thing to do at 10 am at a work place.  
She wasn't the same Ziva anymore. He remembered telling McGee that he didn't find her as sexual now as before. But that had been very misunderstood. When they first started working together she was like taken directly from a James Bond movie. Dangerous, sexy and mysterious. Now she was sweet, caring and .. he would lie to himself if he didn't mention extremely beautiful. And more like a woman. She was confident and independent. And still she seemed to take one day at a time. Not like him, who had pretended to cover up a midlife crisis with the worst excuse ever. Of course he had felt sorry for Brenda, but the thing that was really bothering him was the fact that everyone seemed satisfied with their lives, except himself. Abby was just as cheerful and happy as always. And McGee had gotten more confident. Tony would never admit it, but he was proud of the Probie.  
But where was he going? Who was he? What was he becoming?

He hadn't realized he had fallen asleep against the night stand, until he woke up by the sunlight that was coming through the white curtains in Ziva's bedroom.  
Ziva's bedroom. He looked at the bed, she was gone. He got up, whining when a sharp pain shot through his back. He stretched and walked into the hallway. Then he noticed steam coming from the open bathroom door. Then as he walked closer, he heard that the water was running. As tempting as it was to interrupt Ziva, and he had had images of her showering in his head for years, he couldn't bring himself to open the door. That was until he heard low sobs.  
He opened the door and saw Ziva sitting in the shower. The water was running down on her, she was wearing the clothes she fell asleep in and she rested her head on her knees.  
She heard him entering the bathroom, but she didn't move. Then she felt him sitting down next to her and putting his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried into his neck. She felt his shirt was getting soaking wet. Without a word, they sat there for a while. Tony didn't need to understand Ziva's actions, he just comforted her. Now knowing every detail about why she changed in Somalia, he looked at her in a different way. A vulnerable way. Somehow, it made her more human to him. And he liked it. She was still his ninja, but now he could really say that he knew her.  
Eventually, Ziva's cries became small sobs, and then stopped. She lifted he head and looked at Tony. She opened her mouth but Tony cut her off.

"You don't need to say anything."

"Yes. I do." She got up and turned off the water. She sat back down in front of Tony and looked him in the eyes. There were still a few tears left in her eyes but she somehow smiled a little. Like back when Mike Franks had just died. When he had tried to cheer her up in the elevator. He remembered that he almost kissed her. And that she looked like she wanted to kiss him too.

"Tony. I am sorry for what I said last night."

"Don't be. I'm glad you told me. No one should have to face something like that on their own."

"Not the miscarriage. What I said about you taking my future away from me." She looked down."You gave me one. Michael wasn't even .. He was just following orders."

"You don't know that."

"But I like to believe he did. It makes it less painful to have lost him." Ziva looked at Tony again."But you .. you made up for everything by saving me."

"I had to. Couldn't live without you, remember?"

They both smile. Tony caresses Ziva's cheek and she tilts her head to the side and closes her eyes, feeling his touch on her cheek. Ziva puts her hand on Tony's arm and moves his hand from her cheek to her waist. She tilts her head and looks at him, asking gently. He knows what she wants. He leans forward their foreheads are touching, followed by their lips brushing gently against each other. Tony puts his other arm on Ziva back and pulls them up. They stand in the shower, sharing gentle kisses and holding each other. Ziva places one hand on Tony's neck and the other on his chest. And she has never felt so safe.

**Chapter 3 is coming!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So, after my mailbox got spammed with emails from FF about people putting this story on story alert, I thought I should continue (:  
Now, the story might take a twist you didn't expect. After all, it is called a mother and her daughter. **

They had both lost track of time. Neither of them had ever expected this outcome, although it was what they both wanted.  
When they let go of each other, Ziva reached for two towels and gave one to Tony. She wrapped her towel around her wet hair and went into her bedroom to change clothes. Tony stood frozen in the bathroom. He was still soaking wet, and he had no idea what to do. Hell, he had just kissed Ziva. And she had kissed back. What did that mean?  
He walked into the hallway and looked into Ziva's bedroom. The door was open, and she stood in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and her bra. God she was so beautiful. The fact that he could just stare at her like that answered his questions. Yes, he had indeed fallen for his partner.  
Ziva had felt his presence, because she looked back over her shoulder at him. He wanted to keep eye contact, but she just looked away and reached for something in her drawer. She threw a pair of sweatpants to him and turned around again to finish drying her hair.  
Tony was a bit stunned, but he changed into the sweatpants, not really wanting to know who they belonged to. He took off his shirt and was about to say something, but then he noticed Ziva was standing right in front of him. He threw his shirt on the chair next to him, and turned his full attention to Ziva. For some reason she still hadn't put on a shirt. But Tony didn't really focus on that, he was busy looking into her eyes since they were full of questions. Then he got the courage to ask, knowing he really didn't want to know the answer.

"You think we're ready for this?"

He said this looking directly into her eyes. Her curls cascaded down her small figure, her hair had gotten so long without him noticing. She didn't look away, just breathed and said it the way it was.

"No."

"Then what are we doing?"

"I do not know."

Tony sighed."I just .. I don't want you to feel like I took advantage of you."

"I know that was not your intention. Besides, I was the one who asked you to stay."

"So what do we do now?"

"I am not sure. See how it works out, I guess?"

Tony nodded."I should get back to my place then. Gibbs expects us in 1 hour."

"Okay. I will see you soon."

"Bye."

And then Tony grabbed his clothes, walked into the hallway to get his jacket and then he was gone.  
Ziva sat down on her bed, trying to gather her thoughts. She tried to bury the feelings inside of her, because they told her to run after him. But she knew they weren't ready for this. But would they ever be?

Tony arrived at work in time to avoid the wrath of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. McGee was doing his paperwork and Ziva's desk was empty.  
_Maybe its better that way, _Tony thought as he placed his backpack beside his desk and sat down.  
_How stupid can you be? I shouldn't have left her place in such a hurry. She probably thinks I'm relieved that she didn't want anything to happen between us. But why aren't I? A serious relationship .. with Ziva? Just the thought makes it seem impossible. I mean, we would kill each other before the second date. We can barely get though the day without fighting at least once, but being in a relationship means spending many more hours together. And talking about stuff Ziva and I have never discussed. _

Tony's thoughts were interrupted by Ziva, who walked from the elevator to her desk. She placed her backpack and her jacket on her chair, walked straight to Tony's desk and leaned down so they were face to face.

"We need to talk." She whispered.

"Thought there wasn't anything left to say." He whispered back, feeling McGee's confused gaze on the two of them.

"Well, there is." Ziva backed away and walked towards the women's bathroom. Tony gave her 2 minutes and then followed her.  
The other agents had gotten used to Team Gibbs using strange places for their conversations, so everyone had stopped giving it a second thought why the door to the bathrooms sometimes was locked.  
Tony turned around after locking the door, to find Ziva standing against the back wall.

"You wanna say something?"

"Yes." Ziva walked towards him. Personal space had never been an issue between those two, and it certainly wasn't now. Ziva looked directly into Tony's eyes as she spoke.

"Just because I said we are not ready, does not mean I never want it to happen."

"So what will it take for us to be ready?"

"Confirmation that we can both change enough to make it work."

Tony nodded. He knew they would both have to change if things between them would ever have a chance.

"Well, I'm willing to try. How about you?"

"I am trying." Ziva smiled slightly."But can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Can we .. not rush this? And we need to focus on this. No distractions."

"No distractions." Tony wasn't sure if she meant no skirt chancing for him or what so ever, all he knew was that Ziva would get his full attention from now on.

"Right. And no talking about how we will make it work or how we will tell everyone, we will tell them if it becomes necessary."

Tony nodded. That was probably the best way to do it. Besides, he would do anything to avoid the head slap he already knew was coming if Gibbs found out about them.  
Ziva smiled and leaned forward. Tony misunderstood her action and thought she was reaching for the doorknob behind him, so he was slightly surprised when she placed a long kiss on his cheek. He smiled though, and when she leaned back again, he caressed her cheek.  
They walked out of the bathroom together, knowing no one would question them about why they were both in there. Besides, their own team had their focus on a guest. Tony and Ziva noticed a woman was standing between their desks, looking at McGee and Abby who both looked extremely stunned. Tony stopped walking at the entrance to their bullpen, but Ziva kept walking. She knew the woman.

"Ima?"

The woman turned around. Tony estimated her to be around 55, still really beautiful. Her dark brown hair was cut just around the shoulders, though she still had curls and the eyes .. those eyes belonged to someone else he knew. Big, brown and full of secrets.

"What does ima mean?" He asked. Almost sure he already knew the answer.

"It is the Hebrew word for mother." Gibbs appeared behind him.

**TELL ME IF I GOT IMA WRONG! I looked it up online, abba is father and ima is mother…. Right? **


End file.
